What did you think of the president’s speech?
This is a perfect example of why we’re trying to defund this administration.
You mean defund the war, right?
No. We’ve cut funding for White House pens, paper, light bulbs and doughnuts. It’s only a matter of time before they grind to a halt.
Is Congress ready to grab the reins of foreign policy?
Absolutely. We would do things completely differently in the Middle East.
So we wouldn’t invade Iran?
Well, sure we would. But we have a much more realistic approach.
You’re saying there’s a Democratic plan for war in the Middle East?
Absolutely. We pull out of a devastated Afghanistan completely and declare victory- like Bush did in New Orleans. Then we break Iraq into three states and pull out. No need to declare a fake victory when we can blame the president and possibly impeach him for it.
That’s quite dramatic.
Thank you. Then we would invade Iran, but we’d be honest with the American people and tell them it’s about oil. But, at the same time, we invade the Sudan to stop the genocide, so we’re on a humanitarian mission as well.
Do you really think we could make all of those countries democratic?
Oh, God no. But who cares if we have bases in all of them?
I never thought the Democratic Party liked war.
There’s a new sheriff in town. Remember- only Congress can declare war.

by Philip Waters

President Bush held a press conference Saturday afternoon in the White House rose garden that appeared to be about nothing until he hinted at a pending invasion of Iran.
“How’s your mother,” Bush asked White House correspondent Shell Davis. “Good, good. We’ll try to keep her safe in Pittsburgh.”
“Did anyone catch last week's episode of 'Lost'?” the president asked a puzzled pressroom. “I think it’s way better than 'Heroes'. How about you guys? Oh, and gals?”
“Why are we here?” Helen Thomas asked from the front row without being called on.
“Just thought we could get together and have a little chat,” said the president.
“About Alberto Gonzales?”
“Or Carl Rove?”
“Or Scooter Libby?”
“No, no- that’s all Executive Privilege. I know there’s been a lot of talk about me and the Democrat congress fighting, and that’s why I thought we should all get together. So we can make sure that if anything goes down, say… in the Middle East, that we’re all on the same page.”
“What would ‘go down’ there?” the press corps asked in unison.
“I don’t know, probably nothing. But if it did happen, it’d probably be late Thursday night or Friday morning.”
“Are you invading Iran?” Thomas asked.
“I’m sorry, but that type of thing is also Executive Privilege. But, ah, if we do, there’ll be a lot of missile firing first- very few ground troops. ”
In the chaos that followed, this reporter was fortunate enough to get a one-on-one response to the president’s speech with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. (side)

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